A: Shareholder. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Hoffa. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." A: 2001. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. . Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around . Paul? ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. juice? and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: De-frost. A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. Show"? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Carson . ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? doctors. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Box 4, Folder 46. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. A: The Orient express. "You Light Up My Life.". 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. us? A: Old wive's tale. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Lorne Green. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Similar Items. A: 2001. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. A: Crabgrass. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. Function: require_once. . Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? One? A: The ZIP Code. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: Name a Kristofferson. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. A: Kris Kristofferson A: The diamond lane. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Commissary. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Contents Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. juice? 1981 | TV-14 | CC. up your turban. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. A: Deep freeze. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. Zippo? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: The Loch Ness Monster. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. A: Until he gets caught. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. Story. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? . Towering Inferno. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Q: What do you call not getting busted? (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). the Denver Nuggets. A: The Rock of Gibralter. A: Over 15 billion served. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Line: 192 The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. A: Last Tango in Paris. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the KeyCastr. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! The answer was always an outrageous pun. Sunday, 16 December 2018. A: "Gung Ho!" Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. A: Tail of Two Cities. A: Evon Guligan. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: Gatorade. . Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? work? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Kitchy-Kitchy? A: Shake and bake. In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. A: "Leave it to Beaver." , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? (the curse). A: Fun with Dick and Jane. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. compartment in your sister. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Here's how it played out on air. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. A: Disjoint. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Previous. Key'n'Stroke. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? A: A thousand clowns. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat They've been kept in Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? toilet is stopped up? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Hand made. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. A: 60 Minutes. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. tissue. station? Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Flyswatter. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school?