Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. She didn't want to see the baby. BabyCenter. Purpose of screening. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. Yeah, yeah. Last updated July 2017. My wife turned the screen away from her. You can change your cookie settings at any time. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. Baby loss stories It felt so wrong. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital.
The hardest thing I have ever done | Health | The Guardian If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. What happens at the second midwife appointment? Just doing it. I think it's the same - in fact I think it was probably the same room, same consultant - and [sighs] I suppose it felt upsetting because at the dating scan you're full of hope and this scan we knew wasn't going to be good, we knew it was maybe the last time we would see the baby moving around. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. Nights were impossible. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). But they didn't. I was sent home with a leaflet, strong painkillers and two types of antibiotics. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. My heart goes out to you OP. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. The hormone levels had dropped, but they wanted to scan me again. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. Although the anomaly scan is often called a 20-week scan, you may have it any time between 18 and 22 weeks, although it's usually done between 18 and 20 weeks. Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. Our position in our families has shifted. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. That was the first time I had heard him cry. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. That they could have spotted something, or not? So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down.
How common is it to get bad news at 20 week scan? | Mumsnet The same rush of excitement. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. . Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. And I can just remember flashing a look at you as if to say, 'Have I made a mistake here somewhere? I couldn't bring myself to push. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. No one else ever met the object of my grief. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. Never being able to look after himself. What would we like to do with the body? But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. . She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. Away you go'. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. factor is very strong. We were denying him his life. 2022. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. This image shows a baby's face and hands at 20 weeks, and gives you an idea of what you'll be able to see at this scan. There was cause for concern. . The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. That he was small. It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart.
20-week ultrasound (anomaly scan) - BabyCenter Australia At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. I let out an animal scream and [wife] kind of leapt onto me on the bed. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. And I'd been on the internet looking up all sorts of things and everything was so negative, it was very depressing, because I thought, 'Well, maybe they've made a mistake, or maybe it's something they can fix, I don't know'. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? I mean the lady who was scanning was very quiet for a long time. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. The results come in stages. I thought I was going to burst into tears. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. There was complete silence during the scan. I travelled to work that day feeling amazing. chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically.
The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. As two youngest siblings, we were both permanently stuck in the irresponsible, childish role. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. I think there might be a problem'. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. And then all of a sudden, I was still laughing and we were all very upbeat, and then suddenly, he suddenly said, but I was still, still laughing, and he said to me, 'Oh, there might be a problem, there might be a problem with the, I think this baby has hydrocephalus'. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. It went from bad, to worse, to worse, to dire, then to better. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. The same anticipation. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. But no. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. This was a ray of hope for us. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. Then I picked myself up. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. . The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. . And so we had to go out a couple of times, [wife] had to walk around, and she had a drink of water, which is supposed to sort of change things inside, or help the baby turn around or something because the sonographer couldn't get the measurements she wanted. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. We've got the same battle scars. Christmas came and went in a blur of emotion, it felt so wrong to be celebrating when we were in such turmoil. x. I just want to be normal again. My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces.